Thursday, December 10, 2009

Vixen Parables

The term “metro-sexual” man totally has me mind-boggled. Is he the one who is allowed to flirt-ogle-drool all he can? Or wear pink and get away with it? Or the on who gets to sleep over at his female friends place claiming they are “jus-good-friends”. I have had quite a few hilarious escapades with the Indian male tiger (especially the ones prowling our urban jungles).

Modesty is definitely considered a virtue by me, but a single independent pretty woman is never deprived of attention in this city.Considering my life style is most conducive for encounters with this species, I’ve frequented parties citing social obligations to bid farewell or congratulate or welcome a friend and have ended up distributing my number like flyers to friends of friend because you don know what to say to “Can I have your number please?” You could probably be downright cheesy to say “Yeah, you could, if you guessed all ten digits” but you wouldn’t want to offend the Friend. The “known” guy-friends are no less in coming up with evidently made-up “Cooks’ called in sick today. Why don’t you invite me over for dinner?” They exemplify the term knowledge is power with lines like “I know you hate coffee. Why don’t we meet over green tea instead??” Fashion big-wigs declared fuschia to be in vogue in Fall 07-08, and I happened to just be one of those fashion slaves who pave way for more fashion trend setters to earn their living. And I decided to team a black outfit with fuschia shoes for a Movie screening at Zenzi. So what is with men wanting to know about this? Aren’t they supposed to discuss spokes on football shoes? ‘Hey! Great pink shoes’ exclaimed someone. Arrrrgghhhh!!! Dude, the Diors’ and Giovannis’ would have turned in their graves then! Alcohol is a guy’s best friend when it comes to asking a girl out and when it turns sour, blames it on intoxication in a desperate bid for normalcy! “I am sorry about last night’s messages. Too many vodka shots!!” “Did I just ask you out last night?? Sorry, but I sent the message to the wrong number!!” Workplace men are a different league altogether, mind you, only in their ways and not their intent! This weirdo I was sharing desk space with (whom I have NEVER interacted with) once exclaimed loudly to no one in particular “Bright sunny day ain’t it??” I bit my tongue before I could retort “Get a Life!!!” Yet another time, I entered a conference late and in denims with a casual tee only to face comments like “I thought you entered the wrong conference hall” not to mention the bold wink it came with! On a second thought, maybe all these actions really do help every woman with her million dollar question of “Is he Mr. Right” “Or at least, Is it Mr. Wrong worth going through the trouble anyway???” Moreover suggestive compliments are never unwelcome in the Venus-influenced women’s life !!! ;)


Aashu said...

Hmm Interesting thought from the queen.I would really like to the details of the escapades with the Metrosexual Man.

Ivory Mystic said...

dream on !thats for me to know and you to find out ;)

Anonymous said...

I did not know you wear pink shoes :) And I am curious about the failed attempts too :P

Govind said...

I thought that was well written. Are these true incidents? There are way too many sexually desperate and therefore "seedy" guys in India then. It's probably because of our repressive culture that people seek a way out and become alive. Who are we kidding anyway? I'd bet there is a lot of intimacy before marraige atleast in the major
cities. It's only natural. :)